Book Review: Since You've Been Gone by Anouska Knight
Holly Jefferson is a widowed pastry chef, who owns a cake shop, appropriately named Cake with her friend Jesse. Her husband was a man of the woods, working with his hands between the trees. It has nearly been two years since his passing, but Holly still does not interest herself in the pursuit of new suitors, and rather busies herself with her business. An eccentric and wealthy new customer shows up in her order book, and he takes more from her than just cake and frosting. Without her having much of a say, he ends up weaseling his way into his life, and she lets him, but not without difficulties. But things don’t stay as sweet as cake usually is.
There’s one really sweet reveal near the end of the book that I wanted to include in my review but did not for sake of spoiling its firsthand sweetness for you. It’s something you've got to read on your own.
I think I would have loved all of this book if it fit my interpretation of what a relationship is. Something happened at the end of the book that left my eyebrows raised and my heart confused. I’d genuinely loved the book until that point, but when that thing happened, it all slipped away.
If you want a wholesome couple’s romance, this is not for you. This book is for the free-spirited, those who tend to want to move on, instead of linger and hold onto what has passed. If you are looking for a book that’s well-written with a little bit of steam here and there, something like a time-killer, this is a good book for that. If you want a good read that’ll give you all the feels, this isn't for you.
And I have to say, I’m really disappointed. The ending was adorable, and the entire book sans The Thing was incredibly sweet, but it was ruined, just by that one Thing.
This is realistic fiction intertwined with romance. This book is not for children and should be read by mature young adults upward.
Up until the last few chapters, I was ready to give this book a five star rating, but that has unfortunately dropped to three.
The cover design on this title is incredible. The pink in the cake covering the woman’s face pairs well with the baby blue on the walls behind her, and the pastels in the other cakes on the shelves. It’s like a cotton candy swirl of a pleasant aesthetic. Using white for the title text with slight shading behind each letter helps it to stand out, both to someone just passing by or to the one giving the book a closer inspection. You can see the title stick out from the apron behind it, and the white of the letters combines with the shelves and most of the cakes in the background to create a sense of balance. It’s a great cover. I couldn't find any photographic or design credit inside the book, so I just have to give general praise to he or she who designed this work.
After completing the book, I think all I like about it is actually the cover, and the landscape visuals between the two covers. What originally attracted me to the book was actually the cover, and my liking of that aspect did not change.
As always, some quotes and snippets stand out to me in certain books. The following are those from this work.
The author writes the following dedication in this book, which I found incredibly sweet: “For my boys, who I love more than snow.” Seeing as the eastern coast of the United States, where I live, has been pounded by a winter storm bringing winds and inches upon inches of snow to the world outside, it’s a cozy and comforting notion to think of someone compared to the snow. The snow brings a clarity and crispness to the cold winter air. It justifies the below zero temperatures. It covers the pines and firs in sheets of pristineness, and creates an indisputable winter wonderland. Seeing that, and then seeing your husband, or wife, sons, daughters, family, and friends and saying you love them more than that, that is a powerful love indeed.
“My hair had been longer when the photo was taken, but the panic attacks had been easier to manage once I’d hacked off my loose straggly curls. Long hair was an avoidable hindrance when struggling for breath in bed at night” (Knight 11). At the height of my anxietyphobidepressive days, I cut off over two feet of hair to make room for a pixie cut for the first time in my life. Though I inevitably missed my long hair rather quickly, as sad as it sounds, it was a little bit easier to breathe and writhe in panic whilst there was no hair wrapped around my neck, choking me more than the worries ever could.
“…although Jess was unusually quiet I couldn't be sure if it was because he was sulking with me or mentally planning his outfit. Both probably” (Knight 59). Jess is me, during the moments my face contorts into one resembling a RBF. I look like I'm sulking, and I could be, but I’m also just as likely thinking of a thick slice of pizza with gooey cheese on top, or daydreaming about a squirrel I’d seen earlier that day, assigning it a name, occupation, and livelihood.
“Sure, he was going to be contending with some beautiful people, but Jess could make beautiful right out of nothing, and that was a talent that couldn't be bought” (Knight 59). My honey has this talent. It’s rare, and it’s amazing. My love can turn the grocery store into the funniest and most warmhearted place. My sweetheart can make vacuuming feel like dancing, a tango in the sunset breeze, us dancing down a boardwalk by the beach, when we’re actually just in the living room sucking up dust with synthetic forced air machines. It’s an amazing God-given talent. Jess and Josh both have it.
“On the other side of the enclosure, uniformly planted maple trees stood ablaze in angry bursts of oranges and scarlet—nature the arsonist” (Knight 89). I like to imagine nature here as an anime character, or perhaps a comic book hero/heroine. She/he’d stand tall, with the power to incinerate entire forests in her/his palm, just as soon as the decision is made. And of course, the oranges and scarlets find me remembering just months ago when it was autumn and those warm and beautiful colors coursed through the veins in my eyes, but I look outside now at the snow and appreciate the fact that I live in a place where I get to experience the beauty of all four seasons.
“Don’t find yourself grieving for an opportunity wasted, because no matter how much you love the ghosts, they don't keep you warm” (Knight 171). I thought this was an interesting perspective on loss and widowing. If you lived a good life, or even just simply had a good and true love with the one who is no longer, won’t the memories keep you warm? I know absolutely nothing can replace that touch, or hearing their voice in your ear directly instead of from a recording or in a dream, but if you really loved someone, enough to marry them, how could you move on like that?
Please do not take offense at the previous paragraph. My perspective on marriage and relationships does not match that of everyone else’s, and nor do I expect it to or want it to. If you’ve been married, but got divorced, as long as you're happy, that’s good. If your spouse or partner passed away and you’re never going to date again, as long as you're happy, that is also good. If you’ve been dating for years and are never getting married, good! If you’re in a polyamorous relationship or open relationship, as long as you're happy, good. If you’re asexual and/or aromantic and will never be in a relationship as long as you live, that too, is good! As long as you are happy and all is well and good, I am glad, and I have absolutely no judgment in my heart or mind for those who love differently than I do. Please remember that when I review books like this, I try to incorporate as much of my honest opinion as I can, which means some of my unpopular opinions. I would absolutely love to discuss this book one day with someone who sees love and relationships differently than I do. Perhaps that conversation will grant me a new perspective on this book, and give me the ability to hand back one of those stars that I docked.
“Martha’s expression turned from pained to panicked. “Have I pooed?”” (Knight 250). Ah yes, the miracle of childbirth.
“The happiness in the room was tangible, as if you could swing a butterfly net around and take some home with you” (Knight 253). If only feelings were like this. If only you could swing a net and bottle up a feeling and place it in a jar and label it with a date and time, so you can later revisit it and open up said jar when you need it most.
I would like to know if I misunderstood The Thing at the end of the book? If anyone else who has read this book would like to talk to me about it, please feel free to reach out to me.
I loved this book until the thing happened at the end. I’m praying that I misunderstood something and that what I thought happened didn't happen, because in my opinion, it ruined the whole book. That being said, however, it was beautifully written. The imagery was fantastic. The English countryside and glimpses into working life and wealthy life were exquisite. Everything was fantastic about the book except the plot.
For the sake of concluding this review, I will pretend The Thing did not happen. If only my car wasn’t broken down and at a shop 24 miles away, I could go get myself a slice of cake to end the reading of this book in the best way possible. Once my car is back, I’ll be on my way to a bakery, telling myself that since this book has been gone and done with, I’ve wanted nothing more than a slice of chocolate cake with my love sitting next to me. Jenny Colgan described this book as “warm, sexy, and addictive!” but I’ve got to add delicious in there as well.
I just wish the aftertaste was good, too.
xoxo, Veronica Nagorny
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by Veronica Nagorny 2018
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